Monday, February 15, 2016

...you almost did....


I won't lie, you came very close and at times I thought you had. The weak moments outweighed the strong time and time again. Tears came and went followed by memories of the good that was there for however short of a time it was there.

Missing you comes in waves there is no doubt about that, most days I don't miss you at all, other days it takes all I have not to call you. And maybe I don't miss you, maybe I miss the person you pretended to be.

You see we all wear masks at some point in time, masks that hide the ugly truth maybe the masks we wear are really the people that we want to be. For whatever reason we can't be that person without the mask. I don't blame it all on you, there are always two sides to every story.

You met a girl that was dealing with so much in her life and you were the first good thing in a long time. I never understood how I got so lucky and I thanked God every day for putting you in my life. My mask came off too and I tried so hard to put the pieces back together.

I like always fought and I fought hard to fix us, but we just couldn't be fixed. I have learned in life that you can't fight for a relationship that only one of you wants and you can't love someone enough for the both of you.

I made plans for us, I had all these cool things I wanted us to do and experience and now you are doing them with someone else. I don't understand and I never will because I'm not supposed to.

I thought you had and I'm sure you think you did and you almost did but.......you didn't break me!

You taught me that not everything that glitters is gold, that no matter how "perfect" someone appears to be that isn't the real person, and you taught me that I'm okay and I'm going to continue to be okay.


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3 comments:

  1. Hi TJ - so sorry for your pain in this post. I remember well these days. Praying God gets you through it quickly and with something better on the other side. Xoxo.

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  2. I remember these feelings, Tammy, and I want you to know that it really DOES get easier and better. Each person that tries to break you makes you a little stronger - and that's a GREAT thing! It's all worth it in the end...and I mean that truly.

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