In the City of David.....

Merry Christmas 

to you and yours!

Christmas Eve

My little baby tree :)

Tonight is Christmas Eve service at the church that I was baptized and confirmed in. By far my most favorite service all year round. We have candle light service and we sing old hymns and I can't help but think how Mary must have felt.

To know that her baby, that very small human would change the world. To know that she was a part of such a huge plan. It's overwhelming to me just to think about, I can't even begin to imagine how she felt. Like most new mothers I'm sure she was worried and scared she was about to have a baby in a barn!! Nothing clean or sanitary about that.

Yet I also can't help but believe that God had given her a peace that passes all understanding that everything would be okay, He had gotten her this far, He wasn't about to leave her now.

Wedding Shenanigans

On December 12.2015 one of my VERY good friends got married. The wedding was beautiful and I wanted to share the pictures I took with y'all! We had a blast celebrating with the happy couple and I am so thankful I got to be a part of it.

The Sweetheart Table

Their guest "book"

The first dance

The decor at the bar

The tables were beautiful

Kaite, Steph, and I

Dancing the night away.

Their party favors were the cups!

I just love these gals

Candace, Katie, myself, and Mal

More of the bar decor

The cakes were YUMMY!!

This handsome little guy!

Sorry for the picture overload :)

6 years.....

6 years ago today my life started on a totally different path than I ever thought possible. 

On Dec. 21st 6 years ago, I had my second back surgery.

6 years ago today after the anesthesia had worn off my new "normal" began to hit me. Severe nerve damage to my lower right leg. From my knee to my toes I felt nothing. My foot turned out because I had zero control over it, in order to get out of the bed I had to physically lift my leg. 

If you have never had nerve pain let me just say it is a horrible feeling. It would feel like ants were crawling on my leg, then suddenly like a hammer was beating on my shin. This came and went in waves. I had to use a walker for a lot longer than I should have. Christmas Eve my mom and I went back to the ER because they thought it could've been a blood clot. 

I ended up back in the hospital for 2 weeks, my doctor was less than helpful, he didn't know what was wrong with me, he knew he didn't do it, and he didn't know what to do with me. Once in the hospital we found out one of the stitches on my incision was now infected. That turned into a 4-6 week

 game of cleaning it out daily until it healed from the inside out. 

I started physical therapy, I had to learn how to walk again, you wouldn't think that stepping over cones is hard but man oh man is it ever. I would argue with my physical therapist about doing that, I would sweat, I would have tears come to my eyes. I went 3 days a week for about 5 months for 2.5-3 hours, it was hard and  I hated it. I hated everything about that time in my life. I was on so much pain medicine, that I couldn't function. 

Looking back now I realize I was given a nerve block, if I had them on both sides I'm not sure because my left leg I have zero problems with. I was never told I was getting a nerve block. My recovery time was doubled at this point because now I was dealing with 2 separate issues. 

6 years, I can't even put into words how grateful I am for my team of physical therapists without them I don't even know where I would be. Not to mention my amazing family, friends, co-workers, and bosses I know that I was not easy to deal with, but they dealt with me and for that I am forever thankful.

2 years ago this coming April I ran a half marathon, that's 13.1 freaking miles!!!!! I still can't feel my leg, but I have come a very long way. When I am tired I give to that foot and don't have much control over it, some of my shoes are heavy and when I wear them I don't have much control over that. The small every day victories are not forgotten and every time I do something that a few weeks ago I couldn't I'm thankful for the struggle. 

6 years.....hard to believe I have come this far and still have a ways to go. I know without a doubt in my mind that I couldn't have done it without God, the days I didn't want to go on, the days I didn't want to go to PT or to get up off the couch and I did anyway that was Him. I know that He led me to the people I was going to need at that time in my life and I know that He has a plan for me much bigger and better than I can ever imagine. 

6 years later and I am still forever grateful. 

It Works or does it?!?!?

Let me start by saying this is strictly my opinion and this isn't a sponsored post just letting people know my real honest opinion about the product!

My hair grows so very slow! It always has, I tried biotin and folic acid to help make it grow and that never worked. So I had been seeing all of those Hair,Skin, and Nails It Works! posts on IG and decided to give it a shot. I honestly wasn't expecting results in a week like the posts suggest I knew it had to get in my system to start working and knew that wouldn't be in a weeks time. 

This was from September about a month before I started taking the vitamin

And this is from Dec. 12th

After about two and half weeks my hair felt thicker and really couldn't see any growth, but I figured I'd at least give it 3 months that's the autoship time period. 

I have now been taking it for 2.5 months and can tell a HUGE difference in my hair, it is much longer than it has been in a long time and it feels a lot thicker to me.

One thing I don't particularly care for and I understand that it is just what happens when you take a vitamin to help your hair grow is that I find myself shaving my legs A TON more! The price is kind of high for me if I'm being really honest, but with the auto-ship I think it comes out to like 36 bucks a month. I was pretty concerned about paying for this stuff for 3 months when I wasn't even sure if it would work, but I also didn't want to spend fifty some odd dollars. I went with the auto-ship and I think after my 3rd month I will probably get off of it for awhile. I really wanted my hair to get past that awkward growing out stage and I feel like it definitely has. 

My verdict?!?!? I would recommend it to a friend, but you have to go into the experience open minded and understanding that you probably won't see results in a week like all those IG post suggest. Give it some time and I think you'll be pleased with the results. 

So Long, Farewell...........

It is so hard to believe that 2015 is coming to an end! So much has happened in the last 12 months.

At the beginning of the year I was starting my LAST semester of college. So I took the long way around, but I got it done!

In May, I GRADUATED!!!!!!!! I moved to a new city, to start a new job. Shortly after I got my own apartment down here and got a little bit better at my job (lol). 

I have since gotten a part time job, made a budget with the help of a good friend, and set some personal goals for myself. 

I have grown up a lot in the last few months. I have met people I couldn't live without and met some that I'm learning how to live without them. The second job has me staying busy and for that I am thankful! I am meeting new people and growing relationships with my co-workers. 

I have virtually stopped running which I plan on changing soon! The last few weeks have really showed me how important it is to take care of me and I can't wait to continue to build on that in 2016. 

This year wasn't the best or the worst, it was a lot of growing for me. 

And for that I am thankful!

Grinchy

First of all is that even a word?!?! Grinchy??? Well I just made it one, you're welcome to use it at any time this holiday season :).

Can you believe that Christmas is just 9 days AWAY?!?! I remember being little and it always felt like Christmas was NEVER going to get here. Now that I'm older it seems like I blink and it is already December 16th.

I must confess that I am really not in the Christmas mood this year. It could be because in Texas it is HOOOOOOT, like abnormally hot even for Texas. It's hard to sing "Frosty" when you're walking around in shorts......

On the plus side, I have all but 1 gift purchased and just have a few more to wrap. I have started to get more hours at the part time job so I have been super busy, which could also be why I'm not really in the Christmas spirit. Busy is good, but exhausting I won't even lie!

I am looking forward to a few days off of work and some time at home with my crazy, dysfunctional family. They drive me nuts and most days I'm home for about 3 hours and I'm ready to go back to my quiet apartment, but I am thankful I have them.

The gifts and parties are nice, but sometimes I forget what Christmas is really about and when I remember, suddenly I don't feel so "grinchy".

Pick me, Choose me, Love me

I have started Grey's Anatomy over on Netflix recently, I watch it all the time when I was in college (the first go round) and then just kind of stopped. 

And that right there, is my life most times. I have never said it but to say I've never thought it would be the biggest lie I've ever told. There are 3 guys in my past that I know the exact moment I fell in love with them. I know exactly what was going on and where we were. And in those moments I thought I had finally gotten it right.

And it wasn't long after those moments that things somehow got messed up. There are moments in those relationships that I just knew I was fighting hard enough for the both of us, but unlike Grey's McDreamy doesn't come to the bar.

I understand that I wasn't "picked", "chosen", or "loved" because they were not my McDreamy, but please know it doesn't suck any less.

It has however made me much more cautious and sometimes I end up sabotaging my own happiness in the process of trying to guard my heart, but then I think if he were going to pick me, choose me, and love me that he wouldn't run while I'm building up more walls. That he would have the patience to help me take those walls down. He may not be the only reason I'm jaded and he may have never hurt me or have any intentions to do that, but I'm terrified to let someone in and see the real me.

To be honest, I don't have any profound wisdom in this post and I can't really say that I've gotten past all of the hurt in my past, Right when I think I do the past comes creeping up on me again. I just needed to get this off my mind.