6 years.....

6 years ago today my life started on a totally different path than I ever thought possible. 

On Dec. 21st 6 years ago, I had my second back surgery.

6 years ago today after the anesthesia had worn off my new "normal" began to hit me. Severe nerve damage to my lower right leg. From my knee to my toes I felt nothing. My foot turned out because I had zero control over it, in order to get out of the bed I had to physically lift my leg. 

If you have never had nerve pain let me just say it is a horrible feeling. It would feel like ants were crawling on my leg, then suddenly like a hammer was beating on my shin. This came and went in waves. I had to use a walker for a lot longer than I should have. Christmas Eve my mom and I went back to the ER because they thought it could've been a blood clot. 

I ended up back in the hospital for 2 weeks, my doctor was less than helpful, he didn't know what was wrong with me, he knew he didn't do it, and he didn't know what to do with me. Once in the hospital we found out one of the stitches on my incision was now infected. That turned into a 4-6 week

 game of cleaning it out daily until it healed from the inside out. 

I started physical therapy, I had to learn how to walk again, you wouldn't think that stepping over cones is hard but man oh man is it ever. I would argue with my physical therapist about doing that, I would sweat, I would have tears come to my eyes. I went 3 days a week for about 5 months for 2.5-3 hours, it was hard and  I hated it. I hated everything about that time in my life. I was on so much pain medicine, that I couldn't function. 

Looking back now I realize I was given a nerve block, if I had them on both sides I'm not sure because my left leg I have zero problems with. I was never told I was getting a nerve block. My recovery time was doubled at this point because now I was dealing with 2 separate issues. 

6 years, I can't even put into words how grateful I am for my team of physical therapists without them I don't even know where I would be. Not to mention my amazing family, friends, co-workers, and bosses I know that I was not easy to deal with, but they dealt with me and for that I am forever thankful.

2 years ago this coming April I ran a half marathon, that's 13.1 freaking miles!!!!! I still can't feel my leg, but I have come a very long way. When I am tired I give to that foot and don't have much control over it, some of my shoes are heavy and when I wear them I don't have much control over that. The small every day victories are not forgotten and every time I do something that a few weeks ago I couldn't I'm thankful for the struggle. 

6 years.....hard to believe I have come this far and still have a ways to go. I know without a doubt in my mind that I couldn't have done it without God, the days I didn't want to go on, the days I didn't want to go to PT or to get up off the couch and I did anyway that was Him. I know that He led me to the people I was going to need at that time in my life and I know that He has a plan for me much bigger and better than I can ever imagine. 

6 years later and I am still forever grateful.